The all-name team. It’s a staple of March Madness when plucky schools from places like East West South Dakota get to rub elbows with the elite programs before returning to reality. And, while ACC programs recruit the Kyle Singlers of the world, programs like UTEP are scooping up the Hooper Vints. But while all-name team lists are easy to find, what’s clearly needed is a theme. With that in mind, we present the all-holiday name team.
Honorable Mention – Jrue Holiday
The former UCLA Bruin has proved to be a solid pro and at the age of only 22, is a pretty good NBA point guard. Although his last name is Holiday, he gets honorable mention because that’s just too easy.
5) Forest Edward Able AKA “Frosty”
Born in 1932, you wouldn’t know “Frosty” from an old NBA Jams VHS tape but he attended Western Kentucky University in the early 50’s and racked up 1,221 career points.
4) All the Bells
There’s no shortage of Bells in any professional sports league that I could detect. In fact, you could easily field a decent starting five composed of Bells.
Charlie Bell from Michigan State at PG. Kobe-Stopper Raja Bell at SG. Uh, Troy Bell from Boston College as a third guard. Dennis Bell, forward, who played for the New York Knicks for a season. And, finally, at the five spot: another guard, “Whitey” Bell, who also played for the Knicks from 1959 to 1961.
Alright, maybe that’s only decent if it’s the height restricted era of the CBA or we get to play the WNBA or the PBA.
3) Noel Devine
Noel is an alternate name for Christmas. So I couldn’t keep undrafted West Virginia running back Noel Devine off the squad. He plies his trade for the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL these days.
2) Frostee Rucker
No, it’s not a nick-name. It’s his given name. A defensive end for the Cleveland Browns, no one will look askance if Frostee uses a straw in the gravy boat.
1) Festus Ezeli
Potentially worrying for Warriors fans though is this quote from Vanderbilt chancellor Nicholas Zeppos “You can imagine what it is like to hear his perspective on world trade, globalization, and the economics of American sports.” Are you’re thinking what I’m thinking? Yep, Adonal Foyle, part two. Ho, ho, oh no.